Why “Jonitunes. . . ”

And not “Johnnytunes?”

Johnny Writes:

“I thought up “Jonitunes” before iTunes or the iPhone was invented and smartly secured it as a domain name during the internet’s infancy.

It was inspired by how my mother would always address me as “Joni” when writing her notes, labeling my Christmas gifts and, best of all, jotting it boldly in Magic Marker on brown paper lunch bags packed with the best damn sandwiches to grace school cafeteria tables nationwide!

I remember her laboring over the kitchen counter each morning, unfiltered Philip Morris drooping from her lip, intermittently savoring cups of strong Sanka with cream, all the while crafting the perfect combinations of luncheon food groups for her five school age children.

Sometimes I think she abbreviated my name just to save time! But I loved it. “Joni” it was different. I was special. And nothing could beat her baloney and cheese with mayo, lettuce and mustard on Monk’s Bread; a hearty white indigenous to north eastern Ohio. I relished sinking my teeth into it- mindless of how it stuck in those clunky braces. This superb sandwich creation, bundled tightly in Cut-Rite wax paper, was always accompanied by a generous slice of homemade pie du jour, Frito’s, pretzels or chips and either a [sliced] Winesap apple, a peach or, my favorite- a juicy Bartlett pear.

Dorothy’s brown bag lunches were the envy of every living soul! I once turned down best friend Danny MacLellan’s offer to trade his school-made lunch for mine, throwing-in two packs of baseball cards to sweeten the deal, plus a Bunn candy bar, plus his scouts-honor promise to let me peek at his older sister changing clothes! Fair trade…but just not worth the sacrifice.

I do wish I’d had the presence of mind to save one of mom’s brown bags, though. It’d make a great album cover. And lest I forget, apologies to Joni Mitchel, if necessary.”